Monday, April 21, 2014

Matthew 5

The Sermon on the Mount
      This chapter has a lot of knowledge. This chapter starts off who is blessed in this world. It seems surprising. Blessed are poor in spirit, who mourn, who are the meek, who hunger and thirst for righteousness, who are merciful, who are pure in heart, who are the peacemakers, who are persecuted because of righteousness. Blessed is when people insult me, persecute me, and falsely say all kinds of evil against me because of Jesus. I am to be glad because great is my reward in heaven. Worldly desires doesn't even come close in comparison to heavenly rewards. I read all who is blessed, I can see how it may contradict and make us sad if my eyes are on earthly pleasures. My eyes needs to stay on Heavenly things. I battle with depression and anxiety and I wonder if this is something I will feel until the day I die. I will be healed when I get to heaven. How can I be happy while someone is persecuting me because I believe in Jesus? I have even a hard time talking about Jesus because I may offend someone.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Matthew 3

       I am trying to be in the present, but I am thinking all of what I have to do today. I feel like I want to just sleep in my bed. I need to go to the doctors, then marriage counseling, volunteer at my daughter's school, and help at the church. My day is full. I am blessed. I get to be a stay at home mom, I have two kids, a husband, a home. I feel my joy is stolen. Stollen, that I am unable to enjoy my blessing because of the fogginess of depression and anxiety. I have purpose today, I am going to choose and be thankful. I pray that my thankfulness will last.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Matthew 2

      Amazing, God had led the 3 wise men to Jesus. The wise men heard from God. Then Joseph was led by God to leave Egypt. Joseph heard from God and acted on it. How do I know I hear from God? Alot of times when I think God is leading me and I am hearing from Him. I question it. That is a mind of a worrier. Fear takes over and I do not act. God did not give me a mind of fear. Isaiah 41:10 NIV "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." There are many times I felt I am being lead by God, but I do not act on it. If I am acting out not of faith, but of fear, how can I truly know if what I am being lead to is God. How can I be strengthen if I do not act? I fall short. I am thankful I can renew myself daily through Jesus. I do not have to have the past affect me, those are washed away. I can start and choose now to walk in faith. If I am being lead by God and struggling to act on it because of fear, I can recognize that fear is creeping up in my mind. I will walk in faith and act.  

Dream House

I want to sort out my thoughts on my dream house. Kyle and I are getting really close to looking into buying a house. Well we have been sinc...