Saturday, November 16, 2013

Matthew 1

Jesus's Family Tree
     From this chapter the most important that stands out to me is Virgin Mary. Out of all the women in the world The Father called her to conceive  the Son of God. Her feelings must have been fear, terrified, worry, etc. She pushed through it, and put trust in The Father. She was Willing.
      Her dedication to God is amazing. One I can learn from. About 6 months ago, God called me to do something. I would go back and forth telling Him, yes I will, and then no. I told God of the universe, I do not trust Him. Now, I have been feeling torn down, like He is punishing me, and showing me I am nothing without Him and His guidance. I still am pushed to make the decision to follow what He has called me to do. I am struggling with willingness and trust. I ultimately want to say Yes, trust, and push forward.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Psalm 150

Praise the Lord, One and All
       I started Psalms 3 and half years ago. Today I have read the last chapter. Even though it has taken me this long, having a relationship with God is not a race. I believe the Holy Spirit used Psalms to help me with my struggles. I go back 3 and a half years ago. I was married for 3 and a half years. My daughter was 2 and a half years old. I had been a stay at home mom for 2 and a half years. I was living what I knew God wanted me to be as a mom and wife. Even though I knew this is what God wanted me to do, I was doing my best for God. But I struggled alot wth selflessness. When I would try to give all to my daughter and husband I felt like I was dying. That is how selfish I was. I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. It's strange looking back now, I know my best time with my daughter was this time, but also inside I was struggling.
       We lived in San Diego at the time. There were many earthquakes that year. I became a bit paranoid. I would sit and feel the floor move. I would look it up on the computer if it was an earthquake, but it was not. I look back at it now and think it might have been traumatic stress disorder. I read psalms at night. It brought me much comfort. God has used the psalms as protection from my weaknesses. I started Psalms with worries, anxieties, lust, low self esteem, depression, guilt, shame, lies, darkness. I finish the Psalms with Praise, Desires, Worth, Comfort, Protection, Truth, Trust, Light. For that Jesus, I give You all the Praise.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Psalm 149

God Enjoys Us
       For Jehovah enjoys His people; He will save the humble. God loved us first. I will sing and be thankful.

Dream House

I want to sort out my thoughts on my dream house. Kyle and I are getting really close to looking into buying a house. Well we have been sinc...